Everyone said this movie would be shitty and everyone is wrong.

Posted by admin on November 27, 2009 at 3:40 am | Filed Under: Uncategorized, reviews|

Thanksgiving is technically over, but I’ll stretch it out for the length of these leftovers to give the internet some important movie-going advice. Earlier this evening I was forced out of my turkey coma to go see A Christmas Carol in 3D. Naturally, I had some problems with this. Specifically:

1) This movie got bad reviews

2) and I think 3D is gimmicky

3) and I hate Christmas movies.

also I was still triptophin’ face and passed out on the couch.

Well, all of these arguments turned out to be misinformed, plain and simple. Worth seeing at least and life changing at best, here is why the movie is great and the critics need to slap on some realD(tm) goggles and grow a pair.

1. This movie was made for 3d glasses. I’m not talking about that Beowulf BS where they point spears at the camera and a dragon flies at your face. Those are gimmicks. In A Christmas Carol, you the viewer spend a good number of the movie’s transitions in the place of Scrooge as he’s taken up by ghosts and flown around 19th century london. YOU FLY. AND FLYING IS AWESOME. With the 3D glasses, you actually get the parallax shifts that make you feel like you’re there and flying.

Of course, the upside of sticking to 3D gimmickry (as in Beowulf) is that the movie doesn’t lose much in the transition to the small screen or a regular theater. A Christmas Carol certainly avenges years of “the 3d craze” pissing me off, but it should have been given a limited, 3D-only release. I doubt any critic could pan it if they’d seen it the way it was intended. I was immersed, man.

2. People have been trying to write stories this awesome for a century and a half. I am so sick of movies with terrible plots. We have all this new technology to deal with and the weak spot is going to be the story? Leave it to the experts. Like maybe Charles Dickens.

NEXT-

3. Imagemovers rocked it. Say what you want, but the CG effects in the film are great. I notoriously uphold the position that “if it can be shot in real life, it should be,” but this time I actually found myself able to rationalize the use of an all-animated cast. The characters do fall into that creepy grey area of “mostly real,” but the camerawork and supernatural effects redeem the choice so long as you’re fine with suspending the ol’ disbelief when the characters forget to blink sometimes. And I do say!- it actually adds charm in places.

Anyway, I’d trade some eye flickers and a few beads of sweat for those swooping cameras weaving their way through props and scenery any day. But let’s get back to how good the story is. I still have a hard time convincing my largely Jewish and atheist posse that it’s worth their time, which brings me to my next point:

4. It’s not really about Christmas. It just happens to be set on Christmas. But they do a really good job of not mentioning Jesus at all. It’s not the fault of Dickens that gentiles are nicer to each other around Christmas time, creating a good general contrast for a Scrooge character. Just go with it. It’s not a christmas movie.

All in all, I was REALLY happy I got off the couch- but THANKFUL that my dad wanted to shell out for the 3D experience. You really need the whole package, but if you have it, this movie kicks ass. If it appears in theaters every year around the holidays as a limited 3D release and is never, EVER released on dvd until such a time where 3D technology is made available in my own home, I will be completely at peace with the world.

-kw

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